There is a vogue for calling dogs by human names. The likes of Max, Milo, Charlie, Bella, Daisy, Poppy and Rosie all feature among the most popular female dog names and male dog names. But although our dogs in themselves bring a smile to our faces, these everyday names are unlikely tickle anyone’s sense of humour. Nice and sensible, but a little bit ordinary. On the other hand, funny dog names aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but (like our favourite funny dog jokes) they’re sure to raise a giggle (or a groan) when you introduce friends to your pooch.
While it’s not socially acceptable to call your child something completely ridiculous, it’s deemed fine and often hilarious on your pup. And it’s one way to make sure your dog stands out in the crowd at the park among all the Fidos and Didos.
Naturally, jokey names don’t always stand the test of time. What you find hilarious one day may be excruciatingly embarrassing three years down the line. So if you want to give your dog a funny name, do ask around to see what sort of reaction it gets before settling on it. If you mention the name and your friend breaks in to a smile and not a wince, you know you’re on to a winner. A smile is the end goal – dogs hate being laughed at. So choose wisely…
Funny dog names
Animal names
Bestowing the name of another member of the animal kingdom on your pup is cute and often amusing.
Goose lends itself particularly well to a floppy, flappy spaniel, “you silly goose”, while Moley, Weasel or Possum suit a busy little terrier. Eagle is fun for a beagle, while Bull would work for a bull terrier.
Could your bulldog be a majestic Toad, or would Rabbit suit your fluffy Bichon Frise? Your black dog with a white chest could be Puffin or Penguin.
Or you could go Shakespearean and choose the name of the only dog mentioned in his works – Crab. Crab The Dog did have a sour nature, but it’s a bit of fun and imbues your pup with a superior level of cultural understanding.
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Other potentials: Bear, Pooh (first name Winnie), Wolf, Monkey, Bobcat.
Suitable names
Though it seems dry, stating the obvious by choosing a name appropriate to character often makes people smile. H&H resident dog Fidget is exactly that, a zippy-zappy springer spaniel who will run after all a ball all day long and is happiest moving, pouncing, jumping, swimming, and so on…
For dogs who love to jump: Ping or Bouncer.
A Dalmatian could be Spot (or Ladybird); a whippet: Spiderlegs; a pug: Miss Piggy.
Perhaps your dog loves nothing better than to roll in fox poo or a muddy bog – Stinker will suit him to a T.
Incongruous names
On the other hand, names that are completely the opposite of your dog can be hilarious. I know a mini Dachshund called Hippo (full name Hippolyta) who is the dinkiest little creature on four legs.
How about Tiny for a Great Dane, or Speedy Gonzales for a Basset?
Bruiser could give some punch to a chihuahua, or Egghead for the unique look of the bull terrier.
Food names
Naming dogs after food and drinks is very on trend. While the likes of Oreo, Biscuit, Honey and Cookie have long been popular, stats show that Sashimi, Miso and Pastrami are among the names whizzing up the ranks. There is plenty of psychological guesswork on why we find food names appealing, but leaving that aside, it’s a bit of fun to call your bendy dog Croissant, or your chunky mastiff Beef. Also, dogs usually love to eat – somehow it seems like a match.
Here are some options: Sausage (dachshund), Chip or Fig for little dogs, Doughnut or Turnip for pug or dogue de Bordeaux types, Custard (golden retriever) or Noodle for any breed with long, skinny legs.
Funny names
If all else fails, call it a name that means laughter!
How about: Hoots, Giggles, Mr Funny, Chuckle, Chortle, Ha-ha, Smirk or Snigger?
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Martha is an experienced journalist who is mad-keen on horses and dogs. Her reporting CV includes the Paris Olympics, European championships, Aachen World Equestrian Festival and World Cup finals. After growing up with assorted liver and white springer spaniels, she enjoyed 14 years with two rescue dogs. Now, her constant companion is Fidget, an extremely energetic and habitually muddy black and white springer. Martha has written on topics as diverse as a top horse’s clone to the best GPS trackers for dogs, as well as equestrian and rural matters for Country Life, The Field, The Times, The Spectator and The Telegraph alongside Horse & Hound.
