Hovis’ Friday diary: I’m a badass, not bloody Bambi
‘Every time we are made to prance down the road like Rudolph’s rouge relative, a small part of our soul dies inside’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: if Santa needs a storage locker for his sleigh then tell him to call me
Hovis discusses equine rights, an interesting journey home and why part of him could be put up for rent...
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Hovis’ Friday diary: praying for Karma and rediscovering Kevin, who has been like a fart in a wetsuit
Hovis has endured a pretty horrendous past couple of weeks
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Hovis’ Friday diary: a week of highs and lows, tears and tantrums, snot and snogs
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Hovis’ Friday diary: it’s time to meet your ‘blogging superstar’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: operation ‘from feral to fabulous’ is well underway
Hovis is undergoing a makeover ahead of a public appearance
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Hovis’ Friday diary: Women are impossible. Especially my mother
‘Many things make mother sad; the size of her arse, the size of her overdraft and the tiny amount of pus that was coming out of my foot’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Dear Santa, please can I have a new home for Christmas’
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Hovis‘ Friday Diary: why don’t they appreciate my Tigger-like tendencies?!
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Hovis’ Friday diary: I am hiding in a bush, praying not to be recognised
‘I think with regard to that “incident” I may just about recover’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I have never in all my 16 years on this fair earth seen anything like it’
‘I can only assume he either hadn’t seen a mirror, had secretly always wanted to be known as Applejack Princess Sparkles or was so horrified he was catatonic’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘woe is me, winter is coming’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: mother has an IQ in inverse proportion to the size of her airbags…
Hovis says that he is really peeved this week...
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Hovis’ Friday Diary: a plan so cunning you could have put a tail on it
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Hovis‘ Friday Diary: ‘it all started off so promisingly...’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘he’s like a cold shower with a side serving of bromide’
Hovis has a word for keyboard warriors and is not happy wit one of his stablemates
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Hovis’ Friday diary: peoples if the monkey is this slow, then I hate to rain on your parade, but I think it’s dead
Hovis has his suspicions and so presents some evidence, which he is not happy about
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Hovis’ Friday diary: you take your kicks where you can get them
Hovis has taken issue with mother nature and is looking forward to an event
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Hovis’ Friday diary: my moustache is being used as a water slide by the local wildlife
‘The woman (and it has to be a woman) upstairs is having a laugh — mainly at my expense’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: She may be the bringer of breakfast, but she is also the slayer of dreams
‘What in all the name of hell and the fires within is going on with the weather?’
