Surviving Christmas with a horsey partner isn’t easy, but forewarned is forearmed so bears these tips in mind and your festive period with your horsey partner will go swimmingly

1. Never complain

Whether you like horses or not, they are number one in your partner’s life and always will be. You signed an unwritten agreement the moment you embarked on the relationship and complaining about your partner doing the horses on Christmas Day will only lose you brownie points (and potentially presents). So don’t even bother.

2. Man up and put up

Regardless of whether you want to stay snuggled up on the sofa in front of the fire watching festive films and eating an abundance of chocolate on Christmas day, your partner will at some point have to visit the horse to turn out/muck out/put him to bed, and let’s face facts — you will be dragged out in the cold to help. Trying to avoid it will only ruin the day for everyone.

3. Your partner WILL spend more on their horse than you

It’s a fact. It doesn’t mean they love you less, but their horse NEEDS things, and they usually cost a small fortune.

4. Get a horsey present

Want to earn major Christmas brownie points? Buy your horsey partner a great horse-related gift. Equestrians love nothing more than a photo of themselves with their beloved equine. What about an oil painting or coffee cup sporting a photo of your partner and their horse? Brownie points galore.

5. Boxing Day hunting

It’s a thing and there’s a good chance it could feature in your Christmas plans. If you’re expected to attend (which you probably are to help unload/tack up/for moral support), our advice is to invest in a hipflask and fill it with something boozy and warming. It’s going to be cold.

6. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em

Learn to ride and get yourself a horse for Christmas. That way you’ll never feel left out, and you will see your partner way more. Win win.

7. Appearance isn’t everything

While it’s Christmas Day, it’s still a normal day when it comes to doing the horse, so don’t expect too much in the way of fancy clothes, clean fingernails and tidy hair. A Christmas jumper adorning the odd bit of straw and whiffing of horse is about as much as you can expect.

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8. Gift expectations

Don’t be surprised if you end up with a pair of wellies and a waterproof coat for Christmas. Practicality is everything and you need to be appropriately dressed if you’re to help out at the impending horsey events (which of course, you will be).

9. Deck the halls

While our horse’s stable will be fastidiously tidy, adorning the most festive of Christmas decorations, probably hand made from foraged items while out hacking, and their feed lovingly prepared using a variety of ridiculously priced mixes and supplements (that the horse probably doesn’t need), don’t expect the same at home. You’ll be lucky if there’s a Christmas tree up and didn’t you say you were cooking Christmas lunch this year?

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