Horse people are prone to the odd cliché or two, just like any other walk of life. Here are a few over-used phrases you’ve almost certainly come across…
1. “Genuine reason for sale”
Something that frequently pops up in horse ads, of course there’s a “genuine” reason for sale – you may well be genuinely terrified of the beast because he keeps double-barrelling you. It’s like when a judge on a TV talent show says, “you’re the best singer in the competition, and I genuinely mean that” – actually it’s probably the most insincere thing you’ve ever heard.
2. “Dope on a rope”
Urgh. Please stop saying this.
3.“Totally bombproof”
If a bomb went off near your horse, he’d be blown to bits. So are you actually claiming your horse is made of lead, or Teflon? Because that’s just weird.
4. “He’s got a leg in each corner”
Where did this one come from? It’s commonly used to refer to a chunky sort of horse, but if a horse didn’t have a leg in each corner, he topple over.
5. “It is with a heavy heart that I am advertising my horse for sale”
Angsty horse ads are an often repeated trend. We get it — you feel guilty about selling your horse. So either don’t sell him, if you feel that bad, or keep your feelings to yourself, because they’re irrelevant to potential buyers.
6. “You’ve got to get him listening to you!”
Shouted by almost every (slightly frustrated) riding instructor ever.
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7. “I’m just popping down to the yard for a minute”
Two hours later, you stagger back through the front door, just as your worried parent/partner is about to ring the police, imagining you unconscious in a ditch somewhere.
8. “Oh, I lost track of time,” you explain airily.
Another over-used equestrian phrase, right there. Guilty as charged.
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Amanda Vlietstra is a freelance writer and editor who’s worked for a number of national magazines and websites. Having thrown herself back rural living with gusto since moving from London to Buckinghamshire in 2012, she juggles her horsey life with work and two small children. She claims to do dressage, but really just potters about having fun on her 14.2hh Belgian Warmblood mare, Roxy. She also enjoys a good gossip over a coffee in the tackroom!
