We’ve all been there. You’re in a tearing hurry and need to get your equine chores done as quickly as possible, when your horse puts a spanner in the works. From refusing to be caught to covering your work clothes in a striking green slime, here’s just some of the things your horse is likely to do when you’re short of time
1. Have wet mud where his girth, saddle and bridle goes, in fact just everywhere, even right up underneath his rug. How?!
2. Not let you catch him. After all, you really fancied a three-mile power-walk this morning, didn’t you?
3. Be at the far end of the field looking at you as you walk all the way over to catch him, pretending he hasn’t heard/seen you
4. Trash the electric fencing — one strand is never enough. Mass destruction is mandatory. And if he can get his chums involved at the same time, even better
5. Cover your work clothes in green slime — particularly if you are wearing a pale colour…
6. Have a fat leg, which requires a lengthy amount of cold hosing
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7. Hidden poo. Every day. On first inspection, his stable looks remarkably clean. You only seem to find said hidden poo near the completion of mucking out. Then you find loads of it
8. Walk slowly when being led to and from the field. It’s like the more you say “come on” the slower they go
9. Stick his head so high in the air you can’t get the reins/bridle over his ears. Your arms end up aching more than ever before and he makes you look like a total idiot in the process
10. Eat his breakfast slower than you thought physically possible
11. Lose a shoe. Whether this happens while you’re schooling in the arena, or while they are out in the field, you’ll have to find it to avoid further injury and you can be sure it is NEVER in the first place you look
12. Have a spook-athon out hacking resulting in a lot of dramatic stops, quickly accompanied by running backwards, with loads of immobility (and snorting like a dragon thrown in for good measure)
13. More poo. Just everywhere. Including in his water and feed buckets.
14. And you have to run around the yard with a pooper scooper like a mad woman cleaning up after your four-legged darling in the two minutes you definitely didn’t have spare
Basically when you’re running late, whether that’s for work, for an important appointment or for some other reason, your horse just seems to KNOW!
What’s the most unhelpful thing your horse has done when you were pushed for time? Let us know at hhletters@futurenet.com, including your name, nearest town and county and you might find his escapades mentioned in a future issue of the magazine
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Former web features editor, point-to-point editor and digital racing editor
Gemma is an experienced journalist, who was a member of H&H staff from 2014 to September 2025. She is passionate about all equestrian sports, including racing and point-to-pointing. She has enjoyed riding out for top trainers Nicky Henderson and Charlie Appleby and took part in a charity Flat race at Epsom in August 2018. Gemma’s has reported from numerous five-star events around Britain and Europe, as well as European championships.
