‘I’m trying to get people to talk about dying’: charity calls for owners to put plans in place for their horses
during training at Belmont Park on June 4, 2015 in Elmont, New York.
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Owners have been encouraged to have the “difficult conversation” around their wishes after they die – and reminded of the support available to them.
Bereavement charity Widowed and Young (WAY), which offers support for people aged 50 and under who have lost a partner, set up a horse-related sub-group this year following a rise in members who have been left horses to look after when their partners have died, but are not always equestrians themselves.
“It’s traumatic when a partner dies, but when you have to manage their horses as well, it’s a lot, and people have to take on a role they might not have had before,” WAY chair Jo Sedley-Burke told H&H.
“Generally, we don’t like talking about death, and it’s quite often left until somebody is ill. But that conversation is really important – and positive things can come out of it. It’s horrific when your partner dies, but to know that you’re doing what they want can really give you some peace.”
The group offers peer-to-peer support and there are plans for international dressage rider Dan Sherriff to host a yard visit to meet some of WAY’s members and provide support and advice on some of the issues they might be facing.
“Our members really support each other with horse advice and suggestions, so people are receiving support as widows but also from an equine perspective,“ she said.
Former wills and probate solicitor Emma Gray, a WAY ambassador who has been involved in forming the charity’s horse sub-group, lost her husband Simon in 2016. Simon was a keen equestrian and took the couple’s children riding and when he died, Emma wanted her children to be able to continue with their passion. She has since learnt everything she can about horses and now has two on loan.
“Because of Simon’s death, I’ve written a letter saying what I want to happen with the horses; I’ve kept up-to-date lists about what they need, where their passports are and all the stuff someone needs to know,” said Emma, who runs Rainbow Hunting, a free resource providing guidance on funeral planning, wills and powers of attorney.
“I’m trying to get people to talk about death and dying – it’s going to happen to us all one day. Even if it’s the beginnings of a conversation, it’s better than nothing. Wills and legal documents are the backbone, but what people need to talk about are things like who will look after the pets, what it means and what they want to happen to them. Is there a friend or relative they’d like to have them or is the horse on loan and, if so, where is the loan agreement kept? There’s so much that people just don’t talk about.”
“The service is in place to put people’s minds at ease if anything were to happen to them – once you’re registered, you can almost put it to bed and know it is there,” said Emma Hinds of the Blue Cross.
“At the moment, it is usually the older generation that apply, but it’s really important to get these things in place at any age. You don’t know what’s around the corner and this gives you that peace of mind – and your family as well. We have had cases where there are younger people affected and it really does help at the time when they’re in need.”
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