24 of the best (OK, weirdest) horse names we have ever heard

  • From Broomstick, the skinny thoroughbred who liked to take off, to a Treasure who was anything but, some funny horse names are so bad, they’re unforgettably good…

    1. Houdini

    Obvious reasons, often found wandering around the stable yard.

    2. Bunny Killer

    Real name Murphy, but nick-named Bunny Killer after he trampled some rabbits to death in his field.

    3. Badly

    Always amusing to hear: “next in, we have Jo Bloggs riding Badly”…

    4. Clear So Far

    That’s how to jinx every jumping round and be condemned to a life of always having the first fence down.

    5. Prudence

    She opened gates, her stable door, untied ropes, went into the feed room and flipped up lids, and even climbed through electric fencing. But she always weighed up the pros and cons of her actions so she never got hurt.

    6. Bandit

    A Shetland pony. He was very naughty and always up to mischief. A perfect match for his name.

    7. Hannibal Lector

    Used to kill rats in his stable. Also one day turned to the horse in the stable next door and bit its tongue out.

    8. Snoreen

    He actually snores when he’s asleep. It’s hilarious.

    9. Puff

    This little grey pony farted a lot at Pony Club.

    10. Wotsit

    We could never remember his name. We’d say “Y’know, what’s his name”, and eventually Wotsit stuck.

    11. Lucky Strike

    Turned out to be a ringer. Not such a lucky strike!

    12. Trauma

    He had a difficult birth. Life was always a bit of an uphill struggle for him with that name.

    13. Heidi

    A 12hh Welsh mountain pony. She was palomino with long blonde locks.

    14. Nipper

    A 14.2hh New Forest/thoroughbred who used to mistake hair for hay.

    15. Spirit Of Independence

    She was born on 4 July… Independence day. But she was certainly a ‘free spirit’ and would ditch her rider at any given opportunity.

    16. Pants

    His actual stable name is Smartie, but somewhere along the line this evolved into Smartie-pants, then just Pants. Cue funny looks calling his name at shows.

    17. Broomstick

    A bay thoroughbred who liked to take off.

    18. Treasure

    A 12hh Welsh chestnut mare and a total pain in every way possible. Banned from Pony Club. Not a Treasure in any way, shape or form.

    19. VIP

    Which has, bizarrely, been elongated for his stable name into Very Important Peanut — or Peanut if we’re feeling lazy.

    20. Hoarse

    A horse with a minor respiratory problem. Bit of a cruel name, but also, in its own way, inspired.

    21. OP

    He’s ginger and it stands for Orange Pony. He is even freezmarked OP.

    22. Horsey McHorseFace

    A racehorse named after Boaty McBoat Face. He is now in training in Australia.

    23. Massey

    She was hugely fat when she arrived, so she got called Massey (as in Fergurson) before anyone checked the name in her passport.

    24. Fab

    She isn’t. She’s just generally angry about life and likes to make her feelings plain.

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