6 excuses that only a horsey person would use
There are definitely some classic excuses that only an equestrian could get away with using.
Have you ever said any of these six excuses — which only make sense coming from a horsey person’s mouth — when trying to get out of something?
1. “I’m covered in poo” (or mud or haylage)
Out of context this would sound like a very strange excuse, unless you have a very young child, but equestrians are all too familiar with the lashings of dirt and muck that gather on your clothes and under your nails after spending time at the stables. Horsey people can’t simply leave the yard and head straight to brunch — they need to nip home and remove the eau de horse first. Your friends might be annoyed that you’re a little late, but in the long run they’ll be grateful you didn’t rock up in your pungent jodphurs and T-shirt…
2. “I’m competing tomorrow”
While your non-horsey friends have hobbies of their own, most of them will participate for fun, unlike you who has their eye on the prize and spends most weekends cantering round a field or arena in pursuit of a piece of ribbon. They find it fascinating that you actually compete in competitions and seem to think this means you’re en-route to the next Olympics. Just don’t tell them that you were the only one in your class when they ask how you got on…
3. “My horse needs feed/water”
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No one can deny your horse the basic need of food and water, even if you secretly know that all he really wants is a carrot and a cuddle, and you will oblige as he’s incredibly spoilt.
4. “I fell off yesterday”
To your friends the thought of falling off your 16.2hh horse at pace sounds terrifying, so they’ll definitely understand why you have to pass on this evening’s gathering. They might even send epsom salts, chocolate and wine. Maybe just leave out the fact that your fall wasn’t actually from your horse, but happened when you tripped over the mounting block while trying to get on…
5. “I need to save my money as he needs new shoes”
People know horses are expensive, though they might be left scratching their heads when you mention a horse wearing shoes.
6. “I have to muck out, again”
In the eyes of your friends and family, all you seem to do is muck out. And come to think of it, it really is what you spend most of your time doing!
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Born and raised in the Lake District, Alex has grown up on the showing scene. She has qualified and competed ponies at the Royal International, Horse of the Year Show and Olympia and has first-hand knowledge of the current issues in the showing world as well as the horses, ponies and riders who compete in the sport. Alex joined H&H in January 2018 as showing editor, cementing its place as the leading equestrian publication for both showing reports and current showing news in the UK. She moved on in October 2024 to pursue other opportunities, but continues to write for us on a freelance basis.