Finding the joy: rider speaks up on living with life-limiting cancer, and how her horse has got her through
Sally Laverick is looking forward to getting back in the saddle again after major surgery
A rider who was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer years after she went into remission has spoken up about the need to “find joy” every day – and how her horse has helped her do just that.
Sally Laverick has had the bones in her hip and arm replaced, and been told the condition she has is not curable. But she is living with it, managing it and looking forward to riding again soon.
Sally was nearly 48 in 2018, when she went for a routine mammogram and found out she had early-stage breast cancer.
“I had no symptoms; no lump or pain but by chance, my local GP had the mobile screening unit and I was invited,” she said. “It was picked up; the smallest little cancer cell but it had already travelled to another spot in my breast and there were traces in my lymph nodes.
“The NHS were, and are, amazing. Within a week, I was called for more scans, had a biopsy and the primary breast cancer was found.”
Sally said her oncology team was very positive about her prognosis, as it had been caught so early. She had a left-side mastectomy, and lymph node clearance, and underwent six cycles of chemotherapy.
“The mastectomy itself was super simple, as it’s just breast tissue they’re taking off, not organs; they’re not even going inside,” she said.
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“It was all a bit surreal, it took a long time for it to sink in. I had big boobs; my lovely surgeon said ‘Don’t worry, we’ll rebuild it and reduce the other one, so you’ll have a perfect set of boobs. I’ve never been one to wear revealing clothes or anything but I said ‘Yes, a nice set of boobs would be good’, I was sold on the idea!”
The chemotherapy was tough, Sally said. Her surgery had removed all the cancer but her consultant wanted her to have the extra treatment as a “belt and braces” approach.
“I knew I would feel crap and it would be the worst I’d felt as until then, I hadn’t been ill,” she said. “And when you lose your hair, you’re bloated from steroids, and see yourself in the mirror, that’s when you feel like a cancer patient.
“That’s when you think ‘I do feel like death; whatever death feels like, this is it’. You do it because you have to. People say ‘You’re so strong’ but you’re just doing it because you want to live. I’d wake up, three or four sessions in, feeling the worst I could possibly feel. You don’t know how you’re going to do it, but you do. And this is where my amazing horse comes into it.”
Dexter, who was seven at the time, gave Sally the motivation she needed to get through her treatment.
“I am a positive person, I look for the joy, the hope in things,” she said. “I need hope to get through my day, especially now with my secondary diagnosis.
“But then, my chemo was in three-week cycles so I’d have the session and the side effects usually kicked in later that evening. There was a lot of nausea and feeling rubbish.
“Some people have side effects for a few days, some for the whole three weeks. Mine lasted about 10 days, then I’d think ‘Right, I’m back on my feet, I’m going to ride my horse’. That was my goal between every chemo cycle, and it kept me going.
“He was still young and a bit daft but as soon as I got on him, he knew, and he just carried me. I didn’t ride him, I just sat there, and he would be ‘Come on’, and we’d go for little mooches. He was – he is – an absolute superstar. The last couple of rides were tough as I was feeling my worst, but he looked after me.”
Sally then got the all-clear, went back to work and picked her old life back up.
“Everything was rosy, until last year, when I got hit with the secondary diagnosis,” she said. “Now, life is very different.”
Sally had pain in her back and shoulder, which did not seem too major. She saw a musculoskeletal practitioner, and it was put down to her age and activity level.
Secondary diagnosis
“I’m cross with myself for not asking for an X-ray, given my history, but I wasn’t thinking about cancer,” she said. “Then last March, I tripped in the paddock, and the noise from my arm was like a rip. I thought ‘Holy moly, this is not good’.”
Sally went to hospital, where doctors found a clean break to her humerus, and lesions in the bone. She explained that the secondary breast cancer diagnosis meant it is the same sort of cancer, a hormonal one, which has travelled and manifested in another part of the body, in her case the bones.
“It can be quite nasty, which is why it’s then deemed incurable,” she said. “They don’t say ‘terminal’ any more; they call it life-limiting, and I’ve got no intention of going anywhere yet. I’ve got too much to do.”
MRI and CT scans revealed another lesion on her left hip, which was “pretty much at the point of collapse”. She had surgery to replace the affected bones with titanium implants.
“I was lying in a bed the first day thinking ‘I’m going to die; secondary breast cancer isn’t good’,” she said. “But the oncology team were remarkably optimistic. I said why were they so optimistic in a life-threatening condition. And they said they can treat it, manage it.
“It’s not curable, and they said I was deemed as palliative, but they’d do everything they could to keep it at bay.”
Sally explained the aim now is to keep the cancer “stable”, to prevent it spreading, and that what the team would like to see is a status of “no evidence of active disease”.
“You can get to that, depending on you, your body, the cancer and the treatment,” she said. “That’s my ultimate goal but for the last 12 months, I’ve been stable, and I’m ok with that.
“I’m bionic!”
“I’ve got a new arm, new hip – I’m bionic! I walk three to four miles a day with my dog, I walk my friend’s dogs, look after my horse and friends’ horses – I’m strong.”
Sally has frequent physio, hydrotherapy and scans, and is always trying to get as physically strong as she can.
“I’m just out there doing my thing,” she said. “I’m not saying it’s not hard, it really is. I don’t take any of my surgeries or my disease or my outlook on life for granted. I’ve got to remain hopeful, and I’ve got to look for the joy, every day.
“Even if I’m feeling a bit rubbish one day, if I walk my dog around the paddocks, come home and have a nice cup of coffee, that makes me happy. I’m not about chasing career goals any more, or being the best at anything – although I do want to be the best at beating cancer!”
October is breast cancer awareness month, and Sally is supporting charity Make 2nds Count’s “My life, my way” campaign to raise awareness of living with secondary cancer.
“I do have rubbish days; I did last Monday, but I’d had a really busy few weeks,” she said. “It’s just important that if I do something, I rest the next day as I can’t keep going 24/7 like I used to, and I’m ok with that. When you’re on the corporate treadmill, you don’t stop and get time to relax, which is why Dexter has always been so important.
“When you’re with your horse, you’re not thinking about anything else but what he’s doing, trying to stay on! And having fun. That’s where I am now, despite the secondary diagnosis.
Back into the saddle
“I’ve got lots of lovely friends, a brilliant support network in my family. I’ve surrounded myself by good people. You can still feel rubbish, and there’s the mental health element that’s so important, you have to stay hopeful.”
Sally cited the NHS’s approval last month of a life-extending drug for secondary breast cancer as a huge positive, and an example of the fact new treatments are always being developed.
“My consultant said it’s no different to diabetes or heart disease; we treat it and we will extend your life,” he said. “It’s not curable so it’s about enjoying life now. If that means going out in all weathers, feeding and looking after my horse, that’s what I’ll do. And he’s a diamond.”
Sally’s goal now is to ride Dexter again; her consultant approved this as long as she wears a body protector and air jacket.
“I’m being good, I promise!” she said. “I just need to do a bit more as the range of movement in my arm isn’t great but the ultimate goal is to get back in the saddle and have fun again.
“There used to be times, when I was working and especially in winter, I could only ride at weekends. Now, having time during the day, as I’m medically retired – what a luxury! That’s a joy in itself. I’ve got an amazing group of very clever people around me, doing everything they can to keep me here as long as possible.”
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Eleanor is an experienced journalist who spent over eight years working for local and national newspapers before joining H&H as news editor in March 2016. Passionate about equine welfare and exposing the truth, Eleanor has reported on all aspects of the industry, from Brexit to anti-bullying campaigns, and from dressage rules to mules. Her sport of choice is showjumping, in which she competes her own horses, and she also enjoys reporting at local jumping shows through to international championships.