‘Who are you without the horses?’: Nicola Wilson’s former head girl Ruth Asquith on losing everything and finding her way back
Ruth opens up about grooming through tragedy, rebuilding a life around horses and her hopes for new charge Katie Magee at Burghley
Ruth Asquith is groom to Katie Magee’s Treworra – known at home as Wilf – at this year’s Defender Burghley Horse Trials.
“He’s everything you want in a horse,” she says. “Tall, dark, handsome, talented and sweet. He’s a gentleman, and he’s very easy on the ground – that just makes all the difference.”
But grooming is something she nearly walked away from for good.
Ruth spent almost eight years as head girl for Nicola Wilson, right up until Nicola’s life-changing fall at Badminton in 2022.
“I adored Nik, and I adored those horses – they were my entire universe,” Ruth says.
“When she had her accident, there was the initial ‘Oh my goodness, is she going to live?’ – that’s awful. But then it’s the aftermath. Watching all the horses go, one by one – it was the right thing, but that was devastating. It nearly destroyed me.
“I lost my job and everything I loved in one fell swoop. You move out, and all of a sudden – who are you without the horses? Who are you without Nic? They’re everything.
“There were three of us who’d worked there a really long time – we were a little family unit, and then all of a sudden we were torn apart.
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“You know, the first thing I’d do in the morning was go out and kiss those horses. And on a night, doing late checks – I was the only person who lived there in the end – and I would go around and give them all their nighttime kiss and cuddle. I was so invested in them, and it was so hard to say goodbye.”
What carried her through, she says, was watching how Nicola herself responded during her recovery.
“She was so strong – always having a positive attitude. If something went wrong, it was, ‘We move on, tomorrow’s a new day.’
“She never felt sorry for herself. That helped, because then we were all like that – we just tried to make the best of it as we could.”
Rebuilding and finding balance
After Nicola’s accident, Ruth went to America to work for rider Gabby Dickerson. When she came back, she decided it was time to step away from grooming altogether.
“I said, ‘I’m not grooming anymore, that’s it. I'm going back into vet nursing and I'm going to have more of a normal life.’”
Two weeks later, Katie called. “She asked if I’d mind coming to help out – and that was nearly two years ago now, and I’m still there.”
These days Ruth splits her time: four days a week in equine veterinary work, two with Katie. “I love the way she works. I think we’re quite similar in our mindsets – both hardworking, quite calm people. You just get on with it – very much how Nicola works too, to be honest.”
The experience with Nicola has reshaped what she actually wants from the sport and how she approaches it.
“I have a very different perspective now from what I used to have,” she says. “I always adored the horses, and the thing that used to upset me most was other people being disappointed in them. But now, as long as they come home safe, I’m just grateful to be here. I try to enjoy every second of it.”
She still keeps half an eye on the horses she once cared for – like JL Dublin, who Nicola fell from and is now ridden by Tom McEwen – but from a distance.
“I follow their careers,” she says. “It’s hard – you take on a new horse, the last thing you want is the old groom hanging around. But I follow them from afar. I always keep an eye on their results, and I always want them to do really well.”
On what advice she’d offer those considering a career in grooming, she adds: “Your enthusiasm is way more important than your knowledge level. If you’re willing to learn, that’s the key – and loving the horses, no matter what.”
She’s quick to credit the friendships that have carried her through the harder times, naming fellow grooms Amy Phillips, Jess Mackey and Chloe Fry. “It’s a small world and when the chips are down, those are the people you need. It’s important to have a balance in life. It really is.”
Asked about her hopes for Burghley, Ruth keeps it simple. “Honestly, I just want them to come back safe and sound on Sunday. We’ll have a good time regardless – but we all know what he’s capable of, and it would be lovely for Katie to be up there. She deserves it – he deserves it.”
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Oscar joined Horse & Hound in October 2023 and is the magazine’s dressage editor and sports manager, overseeing coverage of equestrian sport. After studying equine science at Myerscough College, he spent four years working for leading dressage rider Emile Faurie, competing at the 2015 National Dressage Championships and travelling with the yard to CDIs including Aachen and Saumur. He holds a master’s degree in Literature from York St John University (2021).