Many children who enjoy riding have caught the bug from one or other of their parents, having grown up with horses around them, or sometimes the parents have caught the bug from their children! Either way, sharing a horse with your child can feel like a great idea, keeping costs down and meaning responsibilities can be shared, especially as children grown into young adults. But before you take the plunge, here are some things you should consider ahead of making the idea a reality.
1. How similar are you and child in terms of size, build and riding ability? A horse (or pony) will need to be an appropriate size, height, age and type for both of you. If there are differences then the horse’s temperament is going to be key, particularly if one party is much smaller, less experienced or more nervous than the other. For sharing a horse with your child to be a success, the horse’s character, personality and ability has got to suit both of you.
2. What are both riders’ ambitions? Is your child wanting to do all the Pony Club teams and bomb around the countryside with their friends while you prefer a sedate hack? Or do you want to be out hunting all winter, while they are happier perfecting their dressage tests in the arena? There may need to be some elements of compromise when looking for a horse that can do quite different jobs for different riders, but decide on what you absolutely can’t compromise on and stick to that when you are looking for your ideal horse to share. An older experienced schoolmaster-type that is looking to step down a level can often be a good choice.
3. Once you’ve found your ideal horse, ensure you have clearly defined responsibilities and roles so you know who is doing what and when. If the child is young or has commitments such as school or college, be realistic about what those roles and responsibilities are.
“Our budget wouldn’t stretch for an older and more experienced pony so we bought a four-year-old mare called Bonnie from a private producer of ponies in Wales, which my daughter, Eleanor, and I share,” explains veterinary physiotherapist Diane Messum. “We share the responsibilities and it works well as I can do more of the riding during term time – especially in the winter with the dark nights – and Eleanor can do more in the holidays.”
4. Sharing saves money! Having one horse between two people is a cheaper option than having one horse each, but parents should still be realistic about the costs involved as they are going to be responsible for the vast majority of them, unless you sharing with your adult son or daughter who is earning a wage and can contribute.
5. There will be times when you have to face difficult decisions and situations when sharing a horse with your child, so you will need to be prepared to help each other out, chip in when needed, bite your tongue at times, and compromise.
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“Eleanor and Bonnie are both growing and developing an amazing partnership together, but there are times when Bonnie asks questions and is being a bit testing. Eleanor doesn’t yet have the leg, hand and seat to deal with these situations so I will jump on board and ride Bonnie through it. I know Eleanor sometimes finds this frustrating, but it’s great that we can work through it together and help each other,” says Diane.
6. Most parents will attest that teaching their own children to ride rarely works, even if the parents are very experienced in their own right. In most cases it is better to call on the skills of a professional riding instructor or coach for training. If this individual’s teaching style suits both the parent and child, then it helps avoid causing confusion for the horse, although this is less likely to become a problem with an older more established horse than a younger one.
7. With only one horse there are likely to be times when both riders want to attend different training events, shows, hunts or just go for a ride. This requires an element of compromise, with good organisation to help avoid diary clashes and communication being key.
“One downside to sharing a horse is when we are invited to hack with friends only one of us can go as we only have one horse,” adds Diane.
So, if you still think that sharing a horse with your son or daughter is for you, then we hope that you enjoy the experience and all three of you have a lot of fun along the way.
Do you have any helpful tips on how to make sharing a horse with your child work? Let us know at hhletters@futurenet.com, including your name, nearest town and county, for the chance to have your thoughts published in a future edition of Horse & Hound magazine
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Working on a freelance basis, Emily has attended a wide range of horse shows and events as Horse & Hound’s onsite reporter, as well as writing features for both the magazine and website since 2004. Emily assisted the British Horse Society with the launch of its national equestrian awards initiative, and also plays a key role in the press teams for major sporting events including Wimbledon and the London Marathon.
