Most people who ride horses have frequent riding lessons or training sessions with a riding instructor or coach. The teachers and trainers who take these sessions often have their own way of explaining things and, if they are a frequent trainer of the rider in question, can sometimes be pretty succinct (and often quite amusing) in their assessment of the overall picture between horse and rider. Here, we round up (anonymously) a few of our favourite things that our trainers have said over time (that are fit for publication)…
1. “I was once told to sing out loud during a lesson to encourage me to breathe — I nearly died of embarrassment”
2. “My mum is a riding teacher and has said many a time to a slightly hormonal pre-teen Pony Clubber:
Teacher: Do you want to do this?
Kid: Yeah
Teacher: Well tell your face that…”
3. “The last time I saw you it was a matter of survival; this time I think you’ve got an outside chance of riding a dressage test…”
Horse & Hound Newsletter
Never miss out on the latest happenings in the equestrian world
4. “If that horse was as clever and brilliant as you seem to think she is, she would be writing for Horse & Hound and you would be living in a stable…”
5. “Stick your chest out!”
6. “If you don’t tell him to canter, he won’t canter”
7. “You’re gripping on like a monkey up a pole”
8. “That horse is a real family horse — he’s so long in the back, you could fit every member of your family on to him”
9. “Stop looking down! There isn’t any money down there”
10. “Shorten your reins — I could hang my washing on them”
11. “I once struggled to get a flying change so I threw myself to one side to try and get the message through. My trainer said: ‘Oh, sorry, I thought you were getting off…’”
12. “Are you riding a horse or a motorbike?”
13. “For goodness sake, breathe — I can’t teach a corpse!”
14. “If you don’t look where you’re going, you’ll never get there”
Stay in touch with all the news in the run-up to and throughout the major shows and events during 2026 and beyond with a Horse & Hound subscription. Subscribe today for all you need to know ahead of these major events, plus online reports on the action as it happens from our expert team of reporters and in-depth analysis in our special commemorative magazines. Have a subscription already? Set up your unlimited website access now
Former web features editor, point-to-point editor and digital racing editor
Gemma is an experienced journalist, who was a member of H&H staff from 2014 to September 2025. She is passionate about all equestrian sports, including racing and point-to-pointing. She has enjoyed riding out for top trainers Nicky Henderson and Charlie Appleby and took part in a charity Flat race at Epsom in August 2018. Gemma’s has reported from numerous five-star events around Britain and Europe, as well as European championships.
