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Feeling festive? Here are the ‘12 Days of Horse-mas’


  • The 12 Days of Christmas” is a classic, the story of a lover giving an increasingly bizarre set of Christmas gifts to his girlfriend, presumably intended to woo her, but almost certainly just irritating her.

    It never says what she does with the 10 lords a-leaping and 11 pipers piping and so on — no doubt stashed them in a cupboard somewhere so she could fob them off on a work colleague in next year’s Secret Santa. Anyway, let’s just imagine what your true love — your horse, of course — would give to you if he were in this Christmas Casanova’s shoes….

    On the first day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    A cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the second day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the third day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the fourth day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the fifth day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the sixth day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Six hours a-loading
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the seventh day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Seven bucks a-broncing
    Six hours a-loading
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the eighth day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Eight snorts a-napping
    Seven bucks a-broncing
    Six hours a-loading
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the ninth day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Nine spreads a-leaping
    Eight snorts a-napping
    Seven bucks a-broncing
    Six hours a-loading
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the tenth day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Ten miles of hacking
    Nine spreads a-leaping
    Eight snorts a-napping
    Seven bucks a-broncing
    Six hours a-loading
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    Continued below…

    On the eleventh day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Eleven stunning shoulder-ins
    Ten miles of hacking
    Nine spreads a-leaping
    Eight snorts a-napping
    Seven bucks a-broncing
    Six hours a-loading
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas, my horse gave to me
    Twelve perfect piaffes
    Eleven stunning shoulder-ins
    Ten miles of hacking
    Nine spreads a-leaping
    Eight snorts a-napping
    Seven bucks a-broncing
    Six hours a-loading
    Five purple bruises
    A four figure vet bill
    Three silly spooks
    Two torn rugs
    And a cow kick and a sore knee.

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