Happy Valentine’s Day! 6 reasons why riders make great lovers

  • Valentine's Day has got us thinking — there are a fair few factors that we reckon make equestrians a pretty hot date (once you've overlooked our dirty fingernails, that fact that we're usually yawning by 10pm and that our horses are likely to be our number one priority over everyone else...)

    1. We’re (unintentionally) great at talking dirty

    We’re used to saying things like “there’s nothing like having 17 hands between your legs” and “I love riding a big boy” with a completely straight face.

    2. We have a sexy wardrobe

    No, not those saggy but comfy two-tone jodphurs with the holes in the crotch, or that 40-year old Barbour you refuse to throw out because “there’s still life in it yet”. The whole dressage look with the black jacket and white jods and long boots — with spurs — is rather ooh-la-la in some people’s eyes. Or even va-va-voom, if you prefer.

    3. We have moves like you wouldn’t believe

    Tell your partner you know how to do a “round-the-world” or “full scissors”, and watch him (or her) rifle through his memory bank of the Kama Sutra, trying to work out what the hell you’re talking about.

    4. We’re not worried by whips and chains

    They’re a staple part of our tack room…

    5. Our stamina is legendary

    If you regularly chase your horse round the field for hours trying to catch him, go cross-country schooling and then muck out, all before breakfast, you get fit. Really fit. Which is obviously great from a sweet lovin’ point of view — except for a slight tendency to conk out from exhaustion as soon as your head hits the pillow. Oh well, you can’t have everything.

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    6. We’re not easily shocked

    Poulticing abcessed feet and sheath-cleaning — it’s safe to say equestrians are not a squeamish bunch. So if your partner announces he wants to dress up in top-to-toe latex, so what?

    7. Hay is easily on hand to roll on

    Any time! (Although good hay doesn’t come cheap, and your horse has to eat it afterwards, so do just bear that in mind.)

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