Relatable Ronnie: when good means bad and dreaming of sparkles

Penny has told Ronnie that they are now allowed to start emerging from ‘lockdown’. Ronnie is not entirely sure that he agrees. He has had a bonus holiday and he has enjoyed sunbathing before the worst of the flies arrive. Ronnie wholeheartedly supports the government’s edict that masks should be worn — Penny has been very late putting his on and he has an irritating bite behind his ear. He is glad, however, that he doesn’t have to sport full PPE yet, as he dislikes his summer sweet-itch rug, especially as he doesn’t suffer from sweet-itch. Penny feels it protects him better from flies, but Ronnie relishes the times he can roll naked in his field.

Penny is standing on the yard looking at Ronnie. Ronnie is not entirely happy under this scrutiny because Penny is not smiling. She keeps saying the word ‘good’, which usually means a pat is pending. Not so today. She changes view and then feels him. She repeats this new ‘good’ word. Ronnie is slightly insulted when Penny wraps a long white tape around him and sighs. Why doesn’t Little Friend Splash receive this undignified treatment? Then she says it again, “You’re such a good doer, Ronnie, that’s the problem.”

Ronnie has a plan. Little Friend Splash is a tiny bit simple. A lovely mare, but not the sharpest nail in the horse shoe. Ronnie persuades her that her very thick Welsh mane (well his has all been pulled out, quite unfairly in his opinion) will protect her from any possible electric shock. Ronnie and Little Friend Splash sidle up to the fence and smell it. It is on. Ronnie nudges Little Friend Splash reminding her about the ‘Agreed Plan’.

Penny comes down to the paddock an hour earlier than usual to catch Ronnie. She cannot believe her eyes — both her equines are far away eating the best of the grass. Hurriedly Penny unclips the battery and makes a proper opening. She reclaims two very smug, full animals and banishes them to their stables removing the hay on her way out. The rest of the evening is spent reconfiguring paddocks and it tests her ability to wind and unwind wire without getting it in a muddle. The Husband comes to offer advice but wisely decides to fill water troughs instead.

Ronnie is very happy the next morning to find that Penny has been spending money on him again. She has decided that he needs an anatomical bridle to help him keep a steady head in the dressage. She has thought about this long and hard, and has convinced herself that Ronnie is getting pain in his facial nerve. She has read all there is to read on the subject and spent hours on the internet looking up various bridles.

Unlike a new saddle, Penny feels able to fit this herself. She has a choice of two carefully placed on a clean towel on the mounting block. Penny brushes and wipes away at Ronnie’s head until it is clean enough for these two treasured items of tack to be tried on. Secretly Penny is pinning her hopes on the cheapest model. It does look more refined and slim for Ronnie’s little head than the expensive one. She squirms a bit at the thought of having to confess to The Husband that she has spent another small fortune on her horse.

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Relatable Ronnie: when good means bad and dreaming of sparkles

Ronnie agrees to try on the cheapest one first. He has his hopes pinned on the expensive one because it has white stitching and he thinks he will look rather swish in it.

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