In a very literal sense, horses are influencers. If you own, share or regularly ride one, chances are they “influence” a lot of your choices and spending habits. In this digital age, though, “influencer” means something entirely different. Nowadays, you’re most likely to hear the term in reference to someone with a popular social media account, with regular posts and thousands of followers, likes and comments.
Influencers are practically inescapable if you have social media, and cover a wide range of lifestyles and topics, from parenting to tidying and travel to dog training. You might have made your horse an Instagram account at some point, but what would happen if he had the login details? Would he soon have a large following?
One thing’s certain: you don’t amass millions of likes overnight. Becoming a successful equestrian influencer takes time, a high content output and close adherence to the latest social media trends. If your horse wanted to quit his day job and become a full-time influencer he’d need to be entertaining, relatable and aspirational. Here’s how I think horse influencers would do it…
Step 1: #SocialMediaChallenge
The first thing your horse will need to do is go viral. Remember the ice bucket challenge that gripped social media globally back in 2014? If your horse could pull off a similar feat, it would kick-start his influencer campaign. I’m thinking something along the lines of #DestroyYourRug challenge, or #PooInYourWaterBucket – that way he’ll tap into the humour factor of annoying his owner.
To truly follow in the ice bucket challenge’s footsteps, your horse will need to pick a charity to support and encourage others participating to donate. Being an influencer isn’t just about being popular. Your horse needs to give back, too!
Step 2: Hop on a dance trend
Your horse needs to keep finding his way to social media feeds, so a viral dance trend is the way to go. Is it too late to jump on the Apple dance? Does he need to start his own routine? Don’t be surprised if he asks for help Googling songs with “horse” in them…
Step 3: Show some personality
Once the follow count starts to rack up, your horse needs to reveal a bit more of who he is. Influencers love making vlogs showing their day-to-day lives and habits, so the most feasible option would be a yard tour or a “get ready with me” video. He’ll need to get a good shot of the arena (the home working space) and your lorry (his private, chauffeur-driven transport) as well as show off all his latest must-haves, like his matching saddle cloth and fly veil and automatic water dispenser. Human influencers love to lug around huge bottles of water – perhaps hydration would be equally important for horse influencers?
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Step 4: Call me chef
You’ve heard of the expression “eat like a horse”? Well, your horse has just uploaded his go-to super-balanced high-fibre recipe – aka, his bucket feed. Of course, his personal chef (you) prepared this one for him, and he’s reviewing each mouthful. “The calmer really comes through to balance with the notes of garlic granule…” etc.
Step 5: Unboxing deliveries and rug hauls
Taking yet another idea from the human world, your horse might have a few more packages arriving to unbox on camera. Supplements, stable toys, you name it! One shipment is a rug for every season, which feels a little ironic given his #DestroyYourRug challenge origins. He’s got sponsors now – and discount codes to pass on to followers!
Step 6: Prank show
It can sometimes feel like our horses are pranking us without even trying. Unfortunately, horse influencers do it for views and likes. Tipping wheelbarrows, refusing to be caught, doing that unnerving thing where he lies flat on his side and remains motionless even when you yell his name… all of it’s a real test of your body’s ability to handle adrenaline.
Step 7: Cancelled!
Just when you thought you were in this fame thing together! Your horse’s latest upload is calling for you, his owner, to be cancelled. On what charge? Swapping him from “cool and condition” mix to a more basic grass nut. Apparently this is somewhat akin to fat-shaming. That’s odd – you just thought it was spring!
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A horse owner and rider with more than 20 years experience, Bethany has been writing for equestrian publications since 2017. Over the course of her career, she has reported from major British Riding Clubs and British Dressage championships, covered Badminton Horse Trials and interviewed equestrian sport’s best athletes. Her work can also be found in Country Life, The Field and Breathe magazine.
