Life’s a daily struggle for riders — sometimes it just doesn’t feel like everyone else on the road is speaking our language…
1. Oh look, there’s a piebald car. Yes, I genuinely had this thought when I spotted a car with one dark panel while the rest of it was white.
2. That car’s numberplate is WHP — I wonder if they show in working hunter pony classes?
3. Why are you walking on the outside track? This arena is busy enough without having to dodge round you. (Translation: why can’t you move out of the outside lane of the motorway if you want to drive at 55mph?)
4. Why aren’t we passing left to left? Surely that’s going to lead to a crash…
5. This car in front is jolly slow. Why doesn’t the driver give it a tap with the whip?
6. This horsebox feels very stiff around corners. Maybe some lateral exercises or gridwork would help?
7. This warm-up ring is very crowded. (Translation: it’s rush hour.)
8. I wonder if my car is going to shy at that paper bag in the hedge? I’d better start using my inside leg and turning his head to keep him on his line…
9. That person in front is a terrible driver. I bet they never passed their riding and road safety test.
10. This car behind me keeps getting too close… maybe I should tie a red ribbon to my tow bar.
11. Can I tie my car up here? There are no yellow lines — but there doesn’t seem to be any baler twine attached to the fence…
12. Someone tall has been riding this car — I need to shorten my stirrups. (Translation: I need to move my seat nearer to the pedals.)
13. I’m going to be late because I took a wrong turning — but hey, at least I wasn’t eliminated…
You may also like to read…
12 things horsey people say in the office — with translations for non-horsey colleagues
There are certain things you just can’t expect your colleagues to understand — this handy list will help them to
11 ways owning a horse is similar to attending a hen party
Make-up, sashes, tears and budgets — horses and hen parties really do have far more in common than you ever
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