We've all been there (most days in fact). You're in a tearing hurry and your horse decides to make life difficult. Really difficult. From walking slower than you thought possible to refusing to be caught or covering your work clothes in a striking green slime, here's just some of the things your horse enjoys when you're short of time

1. Have wet mud where his girth, saddle and bridle goes, in fact just everywhere, even right up underneath his rug. How?!

2. Not let you catch him. After all, you really fancied a three-mile power-walk this morning, didn’t you?

3. Be at the far end of the field looking at you as you walk all the way over to catch him, pretending he hasn’t heard/seen you

4. Trash the electric fencing — one strand is never enough. Mass destruction is mandatory. And if he can get his chums involved at the same time, even better

5. Cover your work clothes in green slime — particularly if you are wearing a pale colour and have an important meeting to attend

6. Have a fat leg which requires a lengthy amount of cold hosing

7. Hidden poo. Every day. On first inspection, his stable looks remarkably clean. You only seem to find said hidden poo near the completion of mucking out. Then you find loads of it

8. Walk slowly when being led to and from the field. It’s like the more you say “come on!” the slower they go. Why?

9. Stick his head so high in the air you can’t get the reins/bridle over his ears. Your arms end up aching more than ever before and he makes you look like a total idiot in the process

10. Eat his breakfast slower than you thought physically possible

11. Lose a shoe. This usually happens while schooling so that you then have to scour the arena for the blasted thing before you can leave. And it is NEVER in the first place you look

12. Have a spook-athon out hacking resulting in a lot of dramatic halt and rein back with loads of immobility (and snorting like a dragon)

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13. More Poo. Just everywhere. Including in his water and feed buckets. You have to run around the yard with a pooper scooper like a mad woman cleaning up after your four-legged darling in the two minutes you definitely didn’t have spare before going to work

14. Basically when you’re running late, your horse just seems to KNOW!

  • Jay Craig

    Do people really have horses like this? Mine generally come to me when I call, are polite, keep away from fences, drop head for bridle. But I am retired and give myself the time needed to do things in a relaxed way. I have noticed on the yard my boy lives on, that the ones who hurry most have the most problems ( Old age has benefits)