You may think you blend seamlessly into your current life as an astrophysicist/CEO/airline pilot, but there will always be those little telltale signs that you’re a country (and horsey-mad) girl at heart.
1. You casually suggest walking to the pub one sunny afternoon, adding brightly: “It’s only five miles or so!” Your friends fall about laughing and call an Uber.
2. While on a company team building day, you turn up in wellies and a proper coat, while everyone else is wearing ‘fashion jackets’. You’re the only person to stay warm and dry all day.
3. While on a camping trip with an urban friend, she complains that she can’t sleep because it’s too dark and too quiet. You can’t sleep because she has hysterics every time she hears an owl.
4. On the same trip, she leaves the tent in the morning only to rush back in, white faced and shaking, saying there’s a ‘herd of raging bulls’ in the next field. Intrigued, you wander out to find a row of dairy cows leaning placidly over the hedge, chewing the cud. You fall about laughing.
5. You simply can’t break yourself out of the habit of carrying ‘useful stuff’ in your pockets, such as a penknife and piece of string. You can generally be replied upon for the odd dog biscuit, as well.
6. You horrify your friends by eating handfuls of blackberries from the hedgerow. They have only seen punnets of blackberries in supermarkets and had no idea you can pick them for free.
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7. You can’t really get your head round the fact that you now have access to a reliable public transport system, and still try to walk or drive everywhere.
8. You still automatically give each new garment the ‘practicality test’ — does it have roomy pockets? Could I actually walk in those shoes? You hate it when friends leave the house without a coat.
9. Your friends buy you a ‘country house experience weekend’ at a posh hotel, and you know deep down that a real ‘country house experience’ involves no hot water, unreliable heating, a temperamental AGA, a dodgy roof and at least four dogs on the sofa and/or bed.
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