9 everyday items which horses are (unnecessarily) terrified of

When you see a seemingly ordinary, mundane object which has a regular function in daily life your horse could be seeing something completely different, causing him to have a complete freak out. Let’s just pray you’re not in the middle of your dressage test.

Which of these nine everyday sights does your horse hate with a passion?

1. What you see: a plastic bag for life

What your horse sees: a terrifying flappy thing hiding in the hedge waiting to pounce as I go past. It puffs up its body and makes loud noises when the wind blows. Not going past that. Not a chance.

2. What you see: the show secretary’s tent

What your horse sees: a HUGE terrifying-flappy thing which isn’t even hidden away in the hedge, it’s just standing there ready to get me as I go past. Again, not a chance.

3. What you see: a puddle of water, no more than four inches deep

What your horse sees: a swirling lake of death which will kill me if I step in it. Let me dance on the spot for a bit before going round.

4. What you see: a traffic cone, which has been knocked over

What your horse sees: absolutely fine with this when it’s stood up but this one — due to some sort of witchcraft — has fallen to the ground. I am now wary of why it has suddenly changed its position. I must be on guard in case it pounces.

5. What you see: a class of spotted miniature ponies (or donkeys)

What your horse sees: what are these tiny beasts and why are they socialising with us?

6. What you see: a rosette (or a sash)

What your horse sees: don’t you dare thrust that bright red monster behind my ears so I can’t see what it’s doing. And what is that scarf? I don’t wear those.

7. What you see: a cyclist

What your horse sees: that could be me (looking at the bicycle) if the robots have their way and take over.

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8. What you see: a new water bucket for the stable

What your horse sees: change. I don’t like or approve of change.

9. What you see: a pram

What your horse sees: a tiny human strapped into a tiny four-wheeled monster, which is definitely going to eat me.

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