There’s nothing half-hearted, part time or lackluster when it comes to you and horses. Which is unfortunate for your unhorsey other half. But there’s some good news. Here are a few easy steps you can take to make life, well, a little more bearable (and a little less horsey) for them…
1. Your phone screensaver
When you have just got married/ been on the romantic holiday of a lifetime/ had a child, put your regular phone screensaver (a selfie of you and your horse) on hold temporarily while you honour the recent life event. (A couple of hours should do it).
2. Lingo scoffing
Your inability to restrain a snigger when he/she talks about a successful ‘dressager’, is a fast track way to getting your partner’s back up. So if you’re going to drag them along to a horse trials, your local riding club show or a race meeting, allow some leeway for equestrian lingo clangers…
3. The TV
Avoid putting in a last minute request for the remote to watch Badminton (scuppering football plans) by investing in a TV for those gold dust days when equestrianism is shown on TV.
4. ‘My boy’/ ‘My girl’
Think twice before referring to your horse as ‘my boy’ or ‘my girl’ in the presence of your actual GIRL-friend or BOY-friend. Just to avoid confusion.
Similarly, in the company of your partner, ‘we’ should be reserved for referring to the two of you. Rather than you and your four-legged OH…
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Take photo evidence of miscellaneous sports kit/ musical instruments/ general junk your partner has left lying around — for that moment when they trip over a wet turnout rug in the hallway, cursing your horse…
7. The car
…On the subject of wet turnout rugs — Febreze is a valuable investment for the car (and your relationship).
…Ignore all of the above and make it clear before you’ve finished the starter on your first date, exactly how priorities will work.