12 reasons why horses are better than cats (just in case you were in any doubt)

  • Just in case you were in any doubt (or are in need of convincing friends and family who are sceptical about your horsey habits), here are 12 very good reasons why you're better off with a horse rather than a cat...

    1. You won’t wake up unable to breathe because your horse has stuck its tail up your nose. We hope not, anyway.

    2. You don’t have to lift your horse off the sideboard repeatedly when you’re trying to cook, end up shutting it in the living room out of exasperation, and then find the horse has expressed its displeasure by shredding your sofa.

    3. Your horse won’t leave you “presents” of eviscerated mice and headless birds outside your bedroom door, carefully positioned so they squelch between your bare toes.

    4. Your horse won’t suddenly take a flying leap on to your shoulder, or try to climb up your leg. Or gallop around your house/across the roof at 3am.

    5. Horse food smells nice.

    6. You don’t have to empty a horse’s litter tray. Of course it could be argued that mucking out is essentially clearing a giant litter tray every day, but we know which smell we’d rather have to smell.

    7. When you turn your horse out, it won’t stand by the gate, swishing its tail and pondering whether it really does want to go out, and then scratch at the gate to come back in again as soon as you’ve closed it.

    8. You won’t be kept awake at night by two stallions fighting on your garden wall.

    9. Your neighbours’ horses won’t come into the garden and poo in your herbaceous border.

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    10. Your horse won’t take a flying leap into your Christmas tree, trying to play with the baubles and ending up demolishing the whole thing.

    11. Your horse won’t hide under your sofa and claw guests’ ankles, or sit on your computer keyboard while you’re trying to work.

    12. Ever tried to ride a cat? We don’t recommend it, and we rest our case.

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