So as you read this, I will be in a car wash having every inch of my body washed and whitened so that mother can convince all the cult members at Your Horse is Alive that she is the embodiment of a brilliant horse owner who defies weather, Mother Nature and mud to have a horse who gleams so white I can be seen from space, 365 days a year. Which is about as far from the truth as possible – most of the time I am a filthy, feral, feathered fur ball but heh, if you’re all daft enough to fall for it.
Cool New Shoes Man came yesterday and fitted me with new shoes ready for the weekend – once again to ensure that none of you think he’s poop at his job. This set have his initials engraved into the bottom which has made me feel slightly sullied – it’s like I’m wearing his tramp stamp on my tootsies. I know he likes a good snuggle and a snog occasionally, but I am now starting to wonder if he has my face tattooed on his ass or something? A heart with my initials over his left man boob? I mean I know I singled-hoofedly paid for his wedding, but honestly a bag of carrots would have been fine in terms of appreciation. I know his students look up to him because he shoes (and in his mind single-handedly saved) one of the greatest equine talents on the planet, but I’m not sure I am a fan of this gesture of ownership of my feet. Although mother tells me she’s promised he can have them when I shuffle off my mortal coil. An idea which is so alarming I’m already planning on outliving mother so I can go and live with Aunty Mary and hang on to my feet…
So later today we will load up onto my exec transport and head down to the cult event Your Horse Live, where once again I will be doing my upmost to meet as many of you as possible and raise money for the charity Bransby Horses. They do such amazing work looking after equines less lucky than me (and yes, I was as surprised as you are to learn that such creatures exist) and they’ve had such a hard few years. Only recently their premises flooded again with hundreds of acres of grazing land and hay ruined by water. All of this puts a massive dint in their finances, so anything I can do to help, I will. I don’t take a single penny of anything we do – and neither does mother (as one look at the holes in her boots and her faintly haunted expression will attest – lord knows what she’s had to do for her bank manager over the years… *shudders*).
I am at the event all day on Saturday and Sunday, so please do come and find me; my merchandise makes great Christmas gifts for the horse lover in your life or for a sneaky treat for yourself. The gang will all be there, including the mothership, mini-mother, Aunty Em, Aunty Mary and for the first time Aunty H, for whom I believe there is a book running as to how long she can cope with people suggesting I am a shire horse…
I look forward to seeing you all but if you can’t make it, then obviously stay posted to my Facebook pages to see photos and any videos throughout the weekend.
Laters,
Horse & Hound Newsletter
Never miss out on the latest happenings in the equestrian world
Horse & Hound magazine, out every Thursday, is packed with all the latest news and reports, as well as interviews, specials, nostalgia, vet and training advice. Find how you can enjoy the magazine delivered to your door every week, plus options to upgrade your subscription to access our online service that brings you breaking news and reports as well as other benefits.
Stay in touch with all the news in the run-up to and throughout the major shows and events during 2026 and beyond with a Horse & Hound subscription. Subscribe today for all you need to know ahead of these major events, plus online reports on the action as it happens from our expert team of reporters and in-depth analysis in our special commemorative magazines. Have a subscription already? Set up your unlimited website access now
Hovis shared his weekly diary each Friday on the Horse & Hound website between 2008 and February 2025. Initially located on the popular H&H forum, he moved to the main website in February 2013. He published nine books, each to raise funds for his local equine welfare charity Bransby Horses. You can read all his diary entries below. H&H also published a final tribute to our much-loved equine contributor.
