8 reasons why horses are better than men (and dogs are better than women)
Mucking out, vet bills and being bucked off aside, it’s easy to see why horses trump men — from being allowed to shop around for a better one to selling them on when they don’t work out.
Why horses are better than men…
1. If they don’t work out, you can sell them
2. Horses put up with castration as a matter of course
3. Horses understand that manes need a good hair care regime
4. Horses completely sympathise with the need for new shoes every 5 weeks
5. It’s absolutely fine to shop around for a better horse online
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6. Horses don’t object when you put them through fitness training
7. Horses smell good when they sweat
8. You can look up a horse’s performance record before you decide to take them on
…and why dogs are better than women
1. Dogs don’t mind it when you bring more attractive dogs round for the evening
2. Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away
3. The later you arrive home from the pub, the more pleased a dog is to see you
4. As far as a dog is concerned, the more dirty washing left on the floor to play with, the better
5. Your dog’s parents never come to visit
6. A dog is ready to go out in one shake of its whistle or lead
7. Dogs don’t get cross about mud on the carpets
8. Dogs agree that vegetables and salad are overrated
Got anything to add to the above lists? Make your suggestions below.
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Lucy edited Horse & Hound from March 2002 until June 2014 and never had a dull day. She events (very badly) for fun, hunts whenever she can, and has written on topics ranging from embryo transfer to fall simulators. She’s reported from the 2006 Aachen World Equestrian Games and 2011 European Eventing Championships.