Hanging out with your equestrian companion is without doubt one of life’s main pleasures. From crisp morning hacks to competition glory, you can’t beat it.
However, owning a horse is not always easy and with it comes a great deal of hard work, long days and lots (and lots) of mud.
The following points may ring true if you own or care for horses:
1. Your car resembles a small stable, complete with grooming kit, hay, straw and muddy rugs.
2. However short your ride, there is no escaping the perils of hat hair.
3. Your wardrobe consists of 90% jodhpurs, polo shirts and scruffy jumpers. The other 10% is show gear.
4. Your washing machine takes a weekly battering and is forever covered in horse hairs.
5. Forget this year’s general elections, yard politics take centre stage. Finding out who is accountable for messing up the front of the muckheap is top of the agenda.
6. Sometimes you forget you have a horse to ride because all your time is spent out of the saddle, poo-picking, mucking out, grooming and feeding.
7. And when you do manage to get in the saddle, it pours down the entire time. Then as soon as you untack, the sun makes an appearance.
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8. Your hands have the appearance of a pensioner’s regardless of your age.
9. In the summer you develop an attractive t-shirt tan while your legs remain as white as snow.
10. You have no understanding of what lie-ins are and how they are achieved.
11. You spend hours trawling the internet for weather forecasts to make sure your horse stays comfortable. In the winter you pray for dry conditions to counteract the quagmire that your field has become, yet in the summer you’re desperate for rain as the ground is rock solid.
12. A trail of shavings, hay and straw follows you around wherever you go.
13. Your partner and non-horsey friends shout ‘horse’ at you whenever an equine makes a television appearance.
14. You have to wait for an hour before jodhpur seam marks leave your legs so you can look normal in a skirt.