Well that’s it. Another eventing season done and dusted. We are sure it was only March and the first weekend of events yesterday. It’s all gone far too quickly for our liking and now we find ourselves suffering from a serious case of the post-eventing blues. Although there are some things we will find hard to spend the next five months without, there are a few things we are also pretty happy to see the back of too….

1. No more stud holes

And it is a Godsend. You can forget that moment of sheer panic you get as your dressage time fast approaches and you’ve got to that one hole that has been perfectly filled by a stone. And it just will. Not. Shift. Causing you to consider whether your horse would mind you using a pneumatic drill to get rid of the blighter. This “stud hole holiday” may mean that your back might even return to its natural, non-cooked state as a result (we can dream).

2. Wave goodbye to the gutting feeling you get when you’re balloted

It’s your favourite, local event that you have been working for years to be good enough to even consider entering. And despite what you thought was a cunning use of your super ballot sticker, upon closer inspection of the entries list you find that you are on the dreaded “didn’t make the cut” list. You consider locking yourself in a dark room with a bottle of something alcoholic while you watch International Velvet on repeat wondering if you’ll ever get the chance to fulfill your dream. Woe betide anyone who tries to comfort you with the phrase “there’s always next year…”

3. The dark 5am cross-country course walk/run

You believe you could be in the grips of a monsoon. Only it’s beyond freezing and unfortunately you’re not in a tropical country. You are in fact in a field somewhere on the Fens where trees and hills are rarer than hen’s teeth, trying to find where fence one of the cross-country course is in the dark thanks to your 8am dressage time. Repeat after me: “I love eventing, I love eventing.”

4. Worrying about jumping on super hard/soft ground

You no longer need to think about trying to jump big, technical fences out of a bog or even think about breaking your precious beast on ground harder than the road.

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5. Awaiting a tractor to tow you on/off the lorry park

Got that sinking feeling? That’s your lorry/trailer failing to show off its inner tank upon arrival/exit at the event. The knight in shining armour with his tractor and a tow hook may be easy on the eye, but we’re glad we don’t have to do any off-road driving for a few months.

6. Where will your next crêpe come from?

Whether you’re a cheese and mushroom fan or more of a Cointreau and melted chocolate kind of guy, it really is a huge worry where you will find these things of culinary beauty without having to venture to the Alps now that the season is over.

7. How will you gossip with your eventing friends now that you don’t see them every weekend?

You really miss discussing in depth how amazing/average/terrible your day/week/life has been with your eventing pals. There is simply no other type of person you can have such a frank, to the point, down right hilarious conversation with outside of the horse trials world. The only answer is a pub trip reunion.

8. You watch in horror as your once beautifully trimmed, gleaming eventer turns into a woolly mammoth-esque bog pony

We promise he once resembled something straight out of a Munnings, ready to take on the world, not this hairy, muddy, feral thing you now look out of the window and see.

9. You have a five month wait until you get that post-cross-country buzz again

Literally nothing else compares. Hurry up, March.