Dear Diary
Well what a week I have had. I have yet again been a charitably minded, fundraising Hovis who has shown that even with four feet you can do your bit for those less fortunate than yourself. Although as always I do point out how anyone could be less fortunate than me is a mystery — I have my mother to contend with…
Anyway as those of you who are on my Facebook fan page will have seen, at the weekend I did the ice bucket challenge to raise money and awareness of MND or ALS as it’s known in the States. After my mother evilly nominated me in her drenching video (complete with girlie screaming), I decided to take one for the team and show everyone how it’s done. I must point out for those of you who have seen my video that my manly Irish voice was disguised in the video to prevent mass hysteria.
The response I have had to my video has been very humbling but I have to say that those to whom I laid the gauntlet down — Mr Tapner and Mr Hester have been something of a disappointment. I know I said they could finish prancing about at those games (which I didn’t get invited to) but after they got back they should manfully step up to the plate and take a drenching. As of yet no sign of their cold shower so I guess I have to wonder if that makes me too manly for people to cope with? Either that or they’ve not taken a challenge video from a talking blogging horse very seriously — in which case I am most offended…
Watch the video on his Facebook page here
On Sunday I continued my charitable efforts by accompanying a slowly recovering Dolly on her walk (she’s not allowed to trot yet until her ligament recovers — Herman the German needle man says so and he has needles so we all obey). It was a lovely sunny day, the roads were quiet and she had a big hunk of Hovis to keep her company. You’d think this would make her happy would you not? But no — she spent most of the time pulling faces like a professional gurning champion with wind, and trying to bite me. Ungrateful witch. At one point she made the mistake of missing my shoulder and nearly biting mother’s leg — it’s fair to say the “nearly” did allow her to keep her teeth.
If she had connected, I can say that she would have come up close and personal to mother’s boot. To be fair, her mum did yell at her a lot whilst my mother gave her one of “those” looks — which even a blind man on a bender couldn’t mistake for anything other than a signal that mother is not amused. I’m supposed to be going out with her again at the weekend — oh joy…
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In other news we are now on count down to the release of my third book — Hovis’ Friday diary: Fifty Tastes of Hay (do you like the title? Clever aren’t I?). It’s due out at the end of the month and mother is going to be signing books at the launch at Bransby Horse Autumn Fayre and generally acting like she is in any way responsible for my literary genius. She has now done this for all three books and to be quite honest it does rather get up my hairy nostrils. Once again it’s all being sold in aid of charity with me not making so much as enough pence to buy a measly carrot. Apparently charity begins at home — I can assure you not in this stable it doesn’t…
So as can be seen this week I have been selflessly helping others, raising money and awareness. Apparently with my shaggy hair, Irish accent, nifty turn of phrase and charitable tendencies I remind people of not a gelding but a Geldof. I am rather concerned by this — being turned into a gelding isn’t a fun day out — lord knows what becoming a geldOFF will entail. I am keeping a wary eye open for Herman the German and a hoof on my man sausage at all times…
Laters
Yours worriedly
Hovis
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Hovis shared his weekly diary each Friday on the Horse & Hound website between 2008 and February 2025. Initially located on the popular H&H forum, he moved to the main website in February 2013. He published nine books, each to raise funds for his local equine welfare charity Bransby Horses. You can read all his diary entries below. H&H also published a final tribute to our much-loved equine contributor.
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