Hovis’ Friday diary: I’m finally going to be mixing it with the big boys

  • Dear diary,

    So world domination took a small backwards step last week when after a good week of work I came in very stiff and “footy” on Saturday. This resulted in she-who-must-be-obeyed having a complete melt down, phoning everyone she could think of from vets to farriers to at one point the ambulance service (OK I exaggerate for comedic effect but not by much…). In the end she chucked me some bute and disappeared for a sleepless night spent worrying as was clearly witnessed when she appeared early the following morning looking like an exhausted racoon.

    She didn’t seem entirely thrilled that after calling everyone including the A-team and Ghostbusters the previous day, convinced I’d done myself yet another major mischief, that I trotted up pretty much totally sound again. She’s a fickle woman. You’d have thought she’d have been thrilled. What can I say? I was a bit sore and achey — you humans are allowed “off days” why aren’t we? Anyway I’m fine again now so all is good.

    Which brings me on to my news. I can’t tell you everything, or what I’m doing (which is SO exciting) as the details will be released over the next few weeks but… drum roll please… I CAN tell you where I’m going to be in April.

    Are you ready?

    Are you sure?

    On the 14th and 15th of April I’m going to be mixing, where I belong, with the big boys of eventing at BELTON INTERNATIONAL HORSE TRIALS!

    How excited am I?!

    I literally cannot wait to tell you some of the things I will be doing over the two days or indeed reveal an amazing offer for true Hovites in coming days and weeks. So if you’re a real fan then stay peeled for further announcements here and on my Facebook pages.

    I’m going not only to claim my seat at the heart of British Eventing but also to represent the charity Bransby Horses who I support by giving all the proceeds of my five books. They do an amazing job rescuing and rehabilitating equines from across the UK and it’s their 50th anniversary this year so they are officially even older than mother. Which is scary. There are trees younger than mother. Very big trees…

    Continued below…

    This does sadly mean that the aged one herself will also be there doing her usual limelight hogging, signing books and pretending that she has any talent at all. Sadly this can’t be avoided but hey ho. I am hopeful of accidentally self-loading onto one of those big fancy lorries and praying for a new home with slightly more loose moralled mares and a lot less hysteria. To be fair I could cope with the hysteria if I had ladies. Lots of ladies…

    Anyway, I heard she-who-must-be-obeyed saying something about potentially going hacking this weekend which will be a first since I got my new bionic eye. Not wanting to be alarmist but I swear I saw some yellow perils starting to appear the other day. This could be interesting…

    Wish us luck.


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