We don't strictly need any of these things, but we really, really want them. Especially the Twinkleglitter...
Isn’t grooming a chore? All that faffing about with boring, inefficient old brushes. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you could just hoover your horse, like a carpet? Well, guess what, you can. The BackPackGroomer attaches to your back and has cool detachable heart-shaped brushes. You’ll look exactly like Spengler and Venkman with their proton packs in Ghostbusters, which is an added bonus.
2. Paddock Vacuum Cleaners
Talking of hoovers, why waste all that time poo-picking your field with a fork and wheelbarrow when you can – you guessed it – hoover it up. Poo hoovers are a thing, people. Deal with it.
Someone’s got round to inventing that thing we’ve always secretly wanted without even realising it – make-up for horses. Unfortunately it’s not actually available in the UK yet, but don’t let that stop you adding glitter hoof oil, glitter eye and nose oil, mane, tail and stencil gel, glitter nails and rainbow dust body spray to your wish list for Santa. He won’t be able to deliver it, unless you live in the USA, but it’ll give him a good laugh.
4. Unicorn Horn
There is no reason for not immediately buying a made-to-measure unicorn horn for your horse, attaching it to him and hacking him out. Everyone you meet will come away amazed and awed, having previously thought unicorns could only be found in Narnia, or the My Little Pony world of Canterlot. YOU HAVE THE POWER.
If you don’t have a horse, why not turn your cat into a unicorn? Really, why not?
You clip the SeeHorse onto your horse’s bridle or headcollar, and it monitors his pulse, temperature and respiratory functions, and emails you if anything seems a bit dodgy. You can use it to monitor your training progress, and if you’ve got a mare that’s about to foal, it will email you once nature starts taking its course. At the moment it’s not available in the UK, but definitely one to watch out for.
6. Horseman’s Jolly Apple
It’s a massive plastic apple. You can hang it in your stable. What’s not to love?