You greet your horse with a big soppy kiss every morning, and swear he looks back at you with love in his beautiful brown eyes. So why, for the love of god, did he deliberately stomp on your foot just now, and why does he keep trying to ditch you out hacking? Maybe it’s because you do this to him….
Pink dye
That time you dyed her pink for a ‘Canter for a Cure’ sponsored ride. And she had TOLD you her favourite colour was blue! (Alisha Evans)
The sheep rug
‘I’m a horse. A horse, dammit!’ Yeah, but this horse looks a bit sheepish. (Emma Louise)
Fancy dress
They may be dressed up as the Princess and the Frog, but from the look on her face, the Princess isn’t planning on kissing the Frog any day soon… (Helen Fox)
The bonnet
‘I’m standing next to a woman in a sheep’s costume. Yes, I’m wearing a bonnet and leg warmers. No, I haven’t a clue why. Is there any way I can give up being a horse and be something else instead? A bird, maybe. Or a worm.’ (Kim Mortimore)
Hard hats
Because safety matters. (Jodie S. May)
The colour pink
8. The Friesian horse, with his flowing mane and proud stature, is a mighty and noble beast. Most of the time, anyway. This one needs to sack his stylist.
Star Wars
This pair will shortly be taking over a galaxy near you and blowing up one of your moons. (Clare Fehim)
Princess mania
Another magical princess. In his heart of hearts, he’d actually quite like to step on Elsa out of Frozen. He blames her for everything. (Emily Curtis)
Shampoo
Hairwash time! The best murders have been plotted by schemers with shampoo running down their face. Just saying! (Laura Bendel)
Rosette overload
One proud moment for the owner. One ‘next time I’m just going to ditch her in a hedge’ moment for her horse. (Clare Chapman)
Christmas
Elf and safety is no laughing matter. Not judging from this pony’s face, anyway! (Amanda Whyte)
