Ever wondered how to blend in with everyone else around you at the office so you too can appear clean, calm, cool and collected despite having already been to the yard, mucked out, ridden, carried bales of shavings and cleaned tack? Horse & Hound offers tips of nine items that might help you achieve this…

1. A good nail brush
To scrub the dirt from underneath your nails — even wearing gloves somehow can’t always prevent this. A long-lasting and seriously durable nail varnish in a dark colour can hide it but the havoc that plays with your nails long-term might not be worth the hassle. Splitting nails when trying to plait is not ideal…

2. Mild bleach or lemon juice
For those little cracks on the side of your index finger that show ingrained grime when you bend your finger when holding a pen. No amount of nail brushing with soap alone will remove it so tough action is required.

3. Lashings of hand cream
To rehydrate the hands after all the scrubbing and bleaching.

4. Dry hair shampoo
If you haven’t got time to get back home for a shower, this can help give even the flattest looking hat-hair a bit of a boost whilst also masking any mucking out smells that might waft around the office with an increase in temperature.

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5. Face wipes
To wipe off any evidence of horse slobber or sweat and to help prevent spots on the forehead caused by the sweaty inside of your riding hat.

6. Face cream and lip balm
Both warm and cold weather can cause the skin to dry out so a little bit of attention won’t go amiss.

7. Antihistamines
A fair few of us are allergic to horses and survive on headache pills and tablets to compensate for the body’s reaction to our special stablemates.

8. Tights
Bare legs covered in inexplicable bruises (you know the ones — not those caused by major blows that really hurt, but the ones that appear without knowledge of any injury) do not create the best of images,  so are best disguised.

9. Cotton buds
If you’ve managed to slip out for a long hack or hunting for a couple of hours before your shift starts, make sure you have a good dig around the ear lobes for any loose mud that might have landed there and could fall off at the most inconvenient moment.

What are your secrets to slipping back into the office after doing the horses without getting any dodgy looks? Let us know below…