Horse people are prone to the odd cliché or two, just like any other walk of life. Here are a few over-used phrases you’ve probably come across…
1. “Genuine reason for sale.”
Something that regularly pops up in horse ads, of course there’s a ‘genuine’ reason for sale – you may well be genuinely terrified of the beast because he keeps double-barrelling you. It’s like when Simon Cowell says, ‘you’re the best singer in the competition, and I genuinely mean that’ on the X Factor, and it’s actually the most insincere thing you’ve ever heard.
2. “Dope on a rope.”
Urgh. Please stop saying this.
3. “Totally bombproof.”
If a bomb went off near your horse, he’d be blown to bits. So are you actually claiming your horse is made of lead, or Teflon? Because that’s just weird.
4. “He’s got a leg in each corner.”
Where did this one come from? It’s used to refer to a chunky sort of horse, but all horses actually have a leg in each corner. Some are just more spindly than others.
5. “It is with a heavy heart that I am advertising my horse for sale.”
Angsty horse ads seem to be a bit of a trend at the mo. We get it – you feel guilty about selling your horse. So either don’t sell him, if you feel that bad, or shut up about your feelings, because they’re irrelevant to potential buyers. Just stop being so needy.
If you know someone who looks at you strangely when you 'talk horse', you might like to share our helpful…
Non-horsey people provide us with some entertaining definitions of equestrian terms
6. “You’ve got to get him listening to you!”
Shouted by every (slightly frustrated) riding instructor ever.
7. “I’m just popping down to the yard for a minute.”
Two hours later, you stagger back through the front door, just as your worried mum/partner is about to ring the police, imagining you unconscious in a ditch somewhere.
8. “Oh, I lost track of time,” you explain airily.
Another over-used equestrian phrase, right there.
9. “He tries his heart out, bless him.”
Very sweet, but we’re pretty sure horses don’t actually care whether they win or lose. Still, who’s not guilty of anthropomorphising their horse once in a while?
10. “He’s such a good boy!”
See what we mean?