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  1. #21

    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Thanks everyone so much. Ive gotten great advice and feel so much better. Going to have proper talk with YO tomorrow and see if the feeling is right that the sharing has gone a bit sideways. Following on from that Im going to have the tough convo with the sharer about making big changes or (more likely) finishing the share.
    I think the boundaries have just gotten muddled and while in my opinion shes the most super horse ever, realistically she will always be a pet as opposed to a breeding or serious competition prospect so as said upthread, the only point developing her would be to learn together.
    She seems to love our little hacks and small competitions so fingers crossed

  2. #22

    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by Always-Riding View Post
    How did you get on with the mare before you got a sharer?
    Grand! She was always less chill in winter but I thought we were ok! For the first 12 months we were flying, I kept waiting for that honeymoon period to finish and for her to get really cheeky but it really didnt for me. She got a bit full of herself on the yard (wanting to be first in a group, pushing other horses with her bum) but I got that out of her.

    Then, of course, I over reached and took her hunting towards the end of the season and it fried her brain. What bugs me is I knew she was hyper as soon as she got to the meet, knew exactly what was happening and dying to be off. Carried me all the way away from our nanny to the front - past the master (!)
    And instead of realsiing she was at the front and out of friends, set off to ploughing her own path. Three fields later we parted company and I woke up to find her looking down at me as if to say whats wrong? That was fab!

    So while the broken leg was healing, the share started & its been fab until now when I feel its like if have to go through the sharer to ride her? And if Im not aiming to raise my game I shouldnt bother. (Not that I dont want to improve, but Id prefer to do what I do well before I go up a level and Im not in a hurry to do that - work is competive enough, horses are my chill time!)

  3. #23
    Veteran LaurenBay's Avatar
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    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by Psych View Post
    Grand! She was always less chill in winter but I thought we were ok! For the first 12 months we were flying, I kept waiting for that honeymoon period to finish and for her to get really cheeky but it really didn’t for me. She got a bit full of herself on the yard (wanting to be first in a group, pushing other horses with her bum) but I got that out of her.

    Then, of course, I over reached and took her hunting towards the end of the season and it fried her brain. What bugs me is I knew she was hyper as soon as she got to the meet, knew exactly what was happening and dying to be off. Carried me all the way away from our “ nanny” to the front - past the master (!)
    And instead of realsiing she was at the front and out of friends, set off to ploughing her own path. Three fields later we parted company and I woke up to find her looking down at me as if to say “what’s wrong? That was fab!”

    So while the broken leg was healing, the share started & it’s been fab until now when I feel it’s like if have to go through the sharer to ride her? And if I’m not aiming to raise my game I shouldn’t bother. (Not that I don’t want to improve, but I’d prefer to do what I do well before I go up a level and I’m not in a hurry to do that - work is competive enough, horses are my chill time!)
    You should not be made to feel like you have got to go through the sharer. It is your Horse and your sharer needs to take a step back. I would keep the sharer but would ask her to do less days so he has a couple of days off during week, I would also say you do not want him to be competed anymore. It might mean she walks away but there are plenty of other sharers out there who would be happy not competing.

  4. #24
    Veteran alainax's Avatar
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    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    It’s supposed to be fun. Ditch the sharer not the horse.

  5. #25

    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by Psych View Post
    Grand! She was always less chill in winter but I thought we were ok! For the first 12 months we were flying, I kept waiting for that honeymoon period to finish and for her to get really cheeky but it really didn’t for me. She got a bit full of herself on the yard (wanting to be first in a group, pushing other horses with her bum) but I got that out of her.

    Then, of course, I over reached and took her hunting towards the end of the season and it fried her brain. What bugs me is I knew she was hyper as soon as she got to the meet, knew exactly what was happening and dying to be off. Carried me all the way away from our “ nanny” to the front - past the master (!)
    And instead of realsiing she was at the front and out of friends, set off to ploughing her own path. Three fields later we parted company and I woke up to find her looking down at me as if to say “what’s wrong? That was fab!”

    So while the broken leg was healing, the share started & it’s been fab until now when I feel it’s like if have to go through the sharer to ride her? And if I’m not aiming to raise my game I shouldn’t bother. (Not that I don’t want to improve, but I’d prefer to do what I do well before I go up a level and I’m not in a hurry to do that - work is competive enough, horses are my chill time!)
    Ouch! Ok well it's a simple enough conversation then = thanks for keeping my horse fit while my leg was healing but I want her back now!

    For what it's worth I would never EVER take Amber hunting! But we are doing ok in taking the scenic route to achieving basic competence and control ..... She is definitely 'wasted' on me but I really don't care. And I'm sure she doesn't either.

  6. #26
    Old nag
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    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by alainax View Post
    Its supposed to be fun. Ditch the sharer not the horse.
    This, unless you actually need a sharer for either the money or the jobs, now is the time to say "Thank you and Goodbye". Did the YO find the sharer for you?
    "Don't LET him do that"

  7. #27
    Old nag Mrs B's Avatar
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    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    "She seems to love our little hacks and small competitions so fingers crossed."

    So, she loves what the pair of you do together, and you love it too. That seems like horsey Nirvana to me! Partnerships like that don't come along very often in life, so hold it close and treasure it.

    Stick to your plans and your guns and enjoy your lovely mare - on your own, if needs be.
    'Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you. You must travel it by yourself'. - Walt Whitman

  8. #28
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    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Goodness me, you were so brave to take her hunting, I'm a relatively experienced rider now but I have never had anything I could have hunted safely. My present horse is just lovely but I spent the first couple of years pootling round on him, doing basically F all. He didn't mind in the slightest, I suspect he thought he'd entered heaven. We've had an interesting period, where I am asking more and he's asking Why! If I had had a really competent competitive rider on him from the beginning, we would never have matched up as tbh he would have been just too much horse for me. Four years on, we are a team. Ditch the sharer and do things at your own pace but make sure you have a really good trainer supporting you, you will be amazed at what you can achieve together! Good luck, your horse sounds just lovely!

  9. #29

    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Thanks everyone - talked to yard owner and sharer over the weekend and agreed to put a pin in the sharing and dial back the mares fitness to my level. I think sharer was a bit disappointed but has plenty of other offers from people to develop their horses. Had a lovely hack and she even allowed lots of cuddles (she has weirdly gotten very fond of one of my dogs and is loving hanging out with us at the moment). Roll on the summer!

  10. #30
    Resident irriot The Fuzzy Furry's Avatar
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    Default Re: To change horse or not? V long, sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by Psych View Post
    Thanks everyone - talked to yard owner and sharer over the weekend and agreed to put a pin in the sharing and dial back the mares fitness to my level. I think sharer was a bit disappointed but has plenty of other offers from people to develop their horses. Had a lovely hack and she even allowed lots of cuddles (she has weirdly gotten very fond of one of my dogs and is loving hanging out with us at the moment). Roll on the summer!
    Excellent update
    Growing old disgracefully.......VERY disgracefully

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