kit279
addict
Reged: 31/01/2008
Posts: 665
Loc: Cambridge
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Plan:- complete a small showjumping class on my very sweet but green chestnut horse who has only been jumping for 6 weeks and is generally very suspicious about coloured poles.
Things that went wrong:-
1) Last night, the village hall next door to my house hosted an all night rave with seriously "bangin" drum and bass music until 4am...
2) Other half therefore was reluctant to get up on time...
3) Therefore, arrived late. Missed clear round.
4) Grey horse was inconsolable about the removal of his chestnut boyfriend and kicked his way off the trailer while we were warming up the chestnut. Was found running around car park by some nice lady...
5) OH went to get grey horse and check him over (mercifully fine) but it meant I couldn't walk the course and chestnut screamed his head off for his boyfriend the whole time. I didn't know what had happened to my little grey - was worried sick that he had broken a leg or something.
6) Part of arena was flooded so the course designer helpfully denoted this by careful use of spooky flower pots which needed to be avoided while riding.
7) It rained much, often and heavily.
8) Was so uptight and nervous and underprepared by the time I got in there that chestnut refused twice at first fence...
9) Elimination - do not pass go, do not collect points.
10) OH rode grey horse in next class - forgot the course and retired. Despite, you know, having a PhD and all... Couldn't remember 12 fences...
11) Saddle rack (custom made by wannabe DIYer OH) exploded in car boot. I may have mentioned that I thought we should just buy a ready made saddle rack. Cue OH hysterics about quality of workmanship.
Plus points:-
1) Noone died.
2) Horses are fine.
3) I nearly fell off twice but managed to stick on.
4) Chestnut horse was quite good in warm up.
5) Neither horse batted an eyelid at the mentalist rearing big dapple grey and unhinged shrill rider in the collecting ring...
6) Someone else had it worse than me in the next class, fell and bridle came off, got tangled up in horse's legs who then bolted around the arena.
7) Going back to Manor Farm tomorrow evening to put the gremlins to bed.
8) Got back in time to watch Burghley.
Any suggestions for what method of suicide would be quickest and least painful? 
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THE_carthorse
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 24/01/2007
Posts: 7439
Loc: west mids
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PMSL
We have all had days like that but some can't see the plus points.
Love the post
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Rosiefan
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/02/2007
Posts: 1706
Loc: Essex
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PMSL - a really good day then? I particularly like the exploding saddle rack, just what you need on a day like today
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kit279
addict
Reged: 31/01/2008
Posts: 665
Loc: Cambridge
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I can't believe you're all laughing, you sadists! I was so stressed the whole time!!! 
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THE_carthorse
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 24/01/2007
Posts: 7439
Loc: west mids
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We smiled because you did, I do sympathise as well,lol.
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catembi
Reged: 12/03/2005
Posts: 2703
Loc: S Cambs
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Hello,
Oh dear, never mind. The only way is up...
I was looking out for you but must have missed you. We must have been there at the same time cos the first thing I saw was the lady whose bridle came off.
Will be doing a show report in comp riders next so you can see how I got on. See if you recognise me from the videos? I was on the not-very-clean 'grey'... Washed his mane & tail but really couldn't be bothered doing any more - doesn't make him jump any higher...
I was also baffled by the dressage flower pots - until I walked the course & discovered that they were surrounding the soggy bit, I thought there must be some new bsja rule re standing in the flower circle til the bell goes or something. Was getting a bit concerned.
Well done for having a go.
T x
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ALF123
stranger
Reged: 07/09/2008
Posts: 10
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Sounds 'fun'. Perhaps Manor Farm were trying to be like the Olympic SJ with a flooding arena!
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Bubblegum
Reged: 19/07/2004
Posts: 732
Loc: Cambridge
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Great report.....made me laugh and laugh....
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YuleTimeFaulter
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/10/2006
Posts: 2867
Loc: Northampton
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Quote:
5) Neither horse batted an eyelid at the mentalist rearing big dapple grey and unhinged shrill rider in the collecting ring...
God she was a nightmare and bloddy rude to the collecting ring staff. Sorry but I had to smile each time she got dumped. Sadly that could be a nice horse in the right hands.
It did rain didn't it. Mainly when I was doing my first round.
So that makes two HHO peeps I missed today. 
PS I was the old geezer wearing a grey jacket on a fairly big chestnut.
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Now a pure showjumper! Thanks B.E.
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Fiona
Reged: 14/07/2001
Posts: 3220
Loc: N. Ireland
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Poor you!!! (I did laugh though, but because of your funny report rather than your s**t day).
Good luck for the next time though.
Fiona
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