OK, so we’ve only limited sympathy for the more Amazonian amongst us, who can hop onto a 16hh horse as easily as climbing a ladder, and look excellent in long riding boots and not at all as if they’re wearing waders. But, we concede, they do have a few problems of their own to contend with…
1. If you ride short you run the risk of kneeing yourself in the chin — well, nearly. Your knees are so far forward that you’re practically out of the saddle.
2. Say hello to expensive customised saddles that actually fit you and your horse. Off-the-peg saddles just don’t seem to do both. And while you’re saying hello, say goodbye to what’s left of your bank balance — for the next year while you pay that off…
3. Even on a 15.2hh, you look like a child that’s massively outgrown his or her first pony.
4. Only on a 17.2hh or 18hh horse do you actually look normal. Well, from a distance. Up close, you’re clearly a giant riding a huge mystical beast.
5. Feeding the huge mystical beast gets expensive, too. Turns out huge mystical beasts eat a lot of hay. A lot.
6. Everyone expects you to jump big, on your big horse, no matter how many times you point out that the scale of the jumps has nothing to do with your desire or ability to jump them. And that you prefer dressage anyway.
7. You’re always being asked to get the saddles down from the upper saddle racks. Having Mr Tickle arms is both a blessing and a curse.
8. On hacks, your short friends on their hobbit horses can ride merrily under low-hanging branches and canter through overgrown woods. If you try that, you’re likely to find yourself hanging from a branch — or out cold.
9. Women’s clothes are not always designed for the more Amazonian physique. Jods, jacket sleeves, boots — they’re all just that bit too short. You may even have to venture into the men’s department – which means paying over the odds for everything. No cheap ‘n’ cheerful two-tone jods for you for you. And no sparkly stuff either. Oh well!